Here are the factors that come in to play:

MANAGING TWO KIDS... I have a couple of friends that are willing to help me with the kids. I cannot thank them enough. For my July 10th jump, Alec was still in Florida - so I didn't have to worry about him. I returned from Frostburg with Emma on Thursday night, July 8th. On the way home, she told me that she couldn't remember what her room looked like - she'd been away for 19 days. She only got to sleep in her room for one night before I packed her bags again.

On Friday evening, Emma and I went to Betsy's house for dinner (Jim had a gig). Betsy had agreed to keep Emma for two nights because Jim also had a Saturday night gig. Emma was so excited to see Amanda (Betsy's six year old daughter)! The kids went off to play and we actually got to have some adult conversation. Dinner was great - Betsy's mom had prepared a wonderful Italian meal. When it came time for me to go, Emma didn't want to be bothered with hugging me goodbye.

THE DRIVE... There are two ways for me to get to Orange from Germantown.
1. 270 to 495 to 95 to 3 to 20 (less chance of getting a ticket)
2. 270 to 495 to 66 to 29 to 522 to 20 (more scenic)

No matter how you slice it (no pun intended), Orange is at about two hours from my house (give or take 15 minutes). It is not conveniently located nearby. In order to get to ground school at 8:00 AM, I have to get up at around 5:30. That's pretty early...

THE HUSBAND... Since Jim is frequently not available on weekends, he'd like me to be here when he is here. We have such a limited amount of time together. I get that, but it's one more thing to factor into the equation.

THE GUILT... Some of this is self-imposed. I have never enjoyed spending money on myself. I have no problem shelling it out for the kids. They have almost everything they want - they are completely spoiled little monsters. I don't have a ton of CDs, or 100 pairs of shoes. I don't have a closet full of designer clothes, and I don't buy jewelry. My indulgences: Buying DVDs and going to the movies. After my third jump, someone said to me, "How are you paying for all of this?" The person quickly backpedaled and said it was none of their business. But, it kind of pissed me off.

I get it. I don't make money anymore. So, I'm not supposed to spend it on myself? I don't need someone else to make me feel guilty about spending money on myself. I already do. Having someone question me about the money made me realize that I am entitled to do this for myself. If I took up golf, I'd need to buy golf clubs. Hobbies are expensive. Once I've completed the training and I've purchased my own equipment, the cost for jumping will be minimal. 

In addition to the money, there is taking time for myself. For a very long time, every minute of my day has been about taking care of others. I can't remember the last time I got a shower without someone coming in to ask me a question. Unfortunately for me, it's never a man asking if I want him to wash my back. Every sentence begins with "Mom" or "Mommy". Mommy, can I have... Mom, I need...Mommy, I want.... Mom, Emma did this...Mommy...Alec did that...Mommy, Mommy, Mommy. If I hear it once, I hear it a hundred times every single day! How on earth do people survive more than two children? I'd be in a psychiatric ward somewhere. Hell, I might end up in one with just the two kids.

Got a migraine headache? Still have to give Emma a shower. Got the flu? Still have to drive car pool. Hung over? Still have to get up and make breakfast. I've finally started doing something for myself, and I feel guilty about taking the time away from my family.

GETTING ENOUGH REST... I can't figure out how to pull this off. The night before a jump is like the night before Christmas. I feel like a little kid. I'm excited and anxious, and it's hard for me to fall asleep. Even if I get in bed at 11:00, I'm still awake an hour later.  I'm an extremely light sleeper. I hear Jim come in from his gig. He comes upstairs to change his clothes, and then makes himself a snack. I look at the clock. It's 1:00 AM, and I'm not sleeping. I should be sleeping.

THE WEATHER.. I made an AFF appointment for July 10th. The weather was supposed to be nice, but you never know exactly what's going to happen until you get there.